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We’ve recently offered suggestions on how people of color can approach their white partner on the issue of race.
And while of course the topic of race should be an ongoing conversation with your significant other, things would go a lot smoother if men — — were able to identify and prevent racial tension from the very beginning.
So, in order to avoid some head and heartaches down the road for both parties, I’d like to offer white men some suggestions on how to best approach us.
This won’t apply to every black woman, but it wouldn’t hurt to infuse some intersectional feminism into your game.
White men have the privilege of not having to actively think about their intersections of race and gender, which is starkly different from black women’s realities.
White men navigate society with relative ease while black women are teetering on the precarious margins of race and gender that they do not have the privilege to ignore.
These include, but are not limited to, saying things such as “You’re [insert positive adjective] for a black girl! ”These may seem harmless to some, but they’re actually symptoms of deeper problems rooted in systematic oppressions that black women face daily.These are harmful stereotypes that will not only make your black partner uncomfortable, they will further marginalize them.You should want to date a person because you like who they are and have compatible views and interests, not because their race is the next thing to do on your bucket list or because you were enthralled by their “exotic ways” (honestly, are you doing an anthropological study on black culture? If you answered no to these questions and you think those assumptions on black womanhood are downright absurd (hint: they are), then perhaps you are well on your way to showing a black woman that you want to date a complete person and not a stereotype!Intersectionality would help because it’s an understanding that a person’s experiences are shaped by their gender, race, physical ability, and socioeconomic class, to name a few factors.In other words, you should be looking at the to any of these, then you should take a step back to reevaluate.