Building self confidence in dating

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Sometimes, “faking” your way through an activity — which means going through the motions of life as a stepping stone to reengaging — turns an obstacle into a reality. Acting “as if” should never be a permanent solution to dips in confidence, but done right, it won’t need to be.

Author AJ Jacobs is a great example of that principle. Once we trick ourselves into going through the motions, our true selves — that is, our confident selves — take over.

Remember: Tending to your wounds is a crucial step in restoring confidence, but it’s not an end in and of itself.

Ignoring a blow to your confidence is just as dangerous as overindulging in self pity.

Discussing your challenges and processing your feelings is a highly therapeutic process in the right company.

That’s what this article is about: How to restore your confidence when it takes a hit — in an authentic, meaningful, and lasting way. (Here’s a working copy of that paper.) As we teach here at AOC, the body follows the mind, and the mind follows the body.

As with most cliches, “Fake it till you make it” has an inkling of truth to it. In that view, confidence isn’t something we have, it’s something we do.

If you’re working hard and taking chances in life, here’s an uncomfortable truth: You will fail from time to time, and certainly more than the average person.

The cost of confronting your limitations, of course, is your sense of confidence, the one quality we need to succeed and risk losing when we fail.

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