American dating outside race view

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Our race and gender affects the way we carry ourselves, and this uncomfortable mindfulness is something that white men simply cannot relate to.While it may be hard for two people from widely different intersections of race and gender to understand each other, it’s not impossible once the more privileged party (in this case, the white guy) is able to recognize their shortcomings and how the intersections of race and gender affect every aspect of a black woman’s life.White men navigate society with relative ease while black women are teetering on the precarious margins of race and gender that they do not have the privilege to ignore.This is not a game to us, nor is it something we can ignore.The wingman walked up to me as his friend stood beside him and screamed over the music, “You’re perfect!My friend likes black girls, but he doesn’t like them too dark!More often than not we are looked over for jobs, we do not receive adequate education or medical care, and we are imprisoned at much higher rates than our white counterparts all because blackness is rarely associated with positivity. Often, someone from a marginalized group is expected to be the authority on that group’s culture, but that’s an unreasonable expectation.

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We’ve recently offered suggestions on how people of color can approach their white partner on the issue of race.When you compliment a black woman in this way, you are implying that we are exceptions to the rule — the rule being that that black women are not attractive, intelligent, or posses any other positive attributes.And when these stereotypes are internalized and then manifested in society, it could have severe consequences.While white men are not the only group to hold racial biases and stereotypes against black women, they tend to be the least informed on the racialized and gendered issues that black women endure.White men have the privilege of not having to actively think about their intersections of race and gender, which is starkly different from black women’s realities.

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